Twin baby moose

Virtual Reader,
Your silence speaks volumes. So you didn't cry at the Lion Cub reunion. Just try and hold back your tears during this video.

Christian has 2 Daddies

I'm hotter than a hot glue gun.  And the witches tit has nothin' on me either.  The Hulk thinks I'm trying to cook her faster by turning up the heat.  She's all, "Whoa, you wouldn't bake a cake like that would ya?"

Did the reunion with the lion make anyone else cry today?  I'm trying to figure out what's hormonal, and what's fer real.  Cuz nobody else at 24 Hour Fatness was crying at Merideth Viera's interview with those two gay boyz today.  

I was "tough crying" though.  I blotted my eyes with my workout towel, and I kept clearing my throat like there was an object in there that was making my eyes water. 

What now?

I am having Tour de France withdrawl...I heart Paul and Phill and Bobke.  Miss you guys.

Nice melons

Post your own caption...keeping in mind that I'm an emotional train wreck and BFF pays the price for my unstable moods.

What-A-Melon

Birthing partners

The instructor of our birthing class called BFF my "Birthing Partner".  I was all, "She's way more than that, she's also my tennis partner."

Anywho, here she is with the model pelvis showing where the baby comes out.  That's Jess on the ball with me, and her birthing partner, Super Dave (pointing to the uterus).  He's like the smartest one in the class.  

Birthing class #1

BFF carries everything for me now.  Here she is heading to our very first birthing class.

Thanks Franco

Some of my Virtual Readers have been asking how long we will call our baby "HULK".  

She'll be called Hulk until I push her out.  (It's top secret.)  

Here is a list of names that BFF's Father sent us.  He's I-talian, if you couldn't tell.  

Click on the picture and check out the list up close.  

I'd like to add a few names that would fit in nicely on his list:

Anemia

Anna Rexa

Ammenorhea

Props to Evette

Evette, Billy Rae's Mom, put some serious thought into her list of names.  Thanks Evette.

Thanks Liz

Our good friend Liz, from Arkansas, called today to offer some of her suggestions...hmmmm maybe...

Hi Billy Rae

Is this some kind of joke?  

Sharon (share a brain)

Sharon wearing the same shirt.  You've seen this before Readers.

Get to work Billy Rae

Billy Rae drove her bike over to our house tonight and we put her to work.

Commonly asked questions...

Due to the influx of comments on the prosthetic ebay purchase, I thought I might take a moment to post some questions.  

(Cousin Todd, could you ask your friend some details, and then get back to me?)

#1 Did the person selling the leg just not need it any more?  Or did the seller just have extra legs laying around the house?

#2  Did the shoe size matter?  

#3  Was the seller African American?

Vegan grafitti

The Vegans are out tagging again.  They're passionate about their cause.  NO MEAT OR DAIRY IN THE TRASHCAN.

Cheese head

Guess where I was last weekend?

Keeley clan

Click on the picture and note the children.  One monster in the front, and a nose picker in row 2.

This is the whole Keeley clan.  (Except for Keirsten, she's hidden.)  We met in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin to honor our Grandma who died, and to catch up with each other.  

grape smugglers

Cousin Brett showing off his nutters circa 1977...

No double chin...

Aunt Kay and me.  I was seriously trying to avoid the double chins that have been showing up in recent pictures.  

Keeley men grillin'

Uncle John on the left and cousin Todd on the right.  

John works for the Pembine Fire Department, and Todd has a friend who recently purchased a prosthetic leg on e-bay.  

Don't be shy Hulk

Have you met my side boob?

I think cousin Erin and I are going to really regret letting someone take this picture.  

Sleeper sofas suck

No matter what you do to a sleeper sofa, it's virtually impossible to make it comfortable.  The sissies really took one for the Hulk this week by sharing the sofa, so that Hulk and I could be comfortable in a bed.  Being preggo gets me a lot of special rights.  I have a sinking feeling that this treatment may come to a screaching hault after I push this baby out.  

Wisconsin Cheddar

My people love cheese.  This is one of many rows of cheese in the grocery store in Wisconsin.

This pic makes big bro look real small.  

Just a preview...

As many of my Virtual Readers may know, I'm not saving the hell out of people at work anymore. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I have a temporary job reassignment. What do I do you ask?
Right now I am working on developing a curriculum for a class for Seniors on Advance Directives. I have named the class, "PULL THE PLUG". I think it will be a real eye catcher in some of the Senior Living Facilities around town. I want to really draw in a big crowd.
Stay tuned , I'll be sure and get some pics this time...

Competition in the burbs

My neighbor is like 2 weeks more preggo than me. They are waaaaaaayyyy more organized though. I keep a close eye on them. Here she is bringing home baby shower gifts. Ours isn't for another month and a half...it's real competitive in the burbs.

Ready for college

My sissies are gonna fit right in when they go to college. They already have a scam going on how to get 1/2 price donuts...

50th birthdays!!!

Happy 50th ladies!!!
My Aunt Kathy brought 3 friends to Colorado to celebrate their 50th birthdays. They've known each other for like 60 years...
They were a lot of fun.

Dad and BFF

My Dad showing BFF the finer points of beer drinking.

An-hela, J-Dawg, and Ralph Macchio.

Restless Leg Syndrome

I think the Incredible Hulk has RLS.

Dedicated to B. Fisk...some inspiration fer ya

Some of my favorite quotes from my new favorite song:
"I don't wanna look like a hungry camp counselor."
"I'm scrapbookin' everything we do."
"I put the body glitter on..."

Just for the record, I could still totally squeeze myself into that outfit and show off my scizzor kicks.

Oh fo real yo?

UH OH.  Am I on my way to cankles?  

I took off my socks today after work, and this is what I found.  I need to act now if I'm going to try and fend off god forsaken cankles.  

I'll do whatever it takes.  

The edema shown here could be just a warning sign...stay tuned Virtual Friends, I'm going to make some serious life changes.

Random stuff fo shizz

If there was an award for the "best nester", BFF would win, hands down.  She is seriously getting stuff organized like there's no tomorrow.  Day and night.  I pull the preggo card almost every night around 8pm and she stays up cleaning and stuff.  She's real excited for me to push this kid out.  Hulk is still marinating though.  

And in case my virtual friends were wondering...

No, I don't have any cravings (except for beer and cigarettes).

Yes, I'm going to look into newborn ankle weights and baby liposuction for the Hulk, so I can get her started on a fitness plan early.

Garlic is still the devil.

My post-pardom goal weight is 92 pounds.

No way Hulk

Here is how I spent my July 4th.  I was working as a Medic for a Horse show.  And Hulk, don't even think about loving horses.  Mama can't afford the wool coats that the athletes have to wear in 100 degree weather.   I'd be glad to cut oranges for half time of your soccer games though.  

hello hottie

The readers have spoken. Here's a pic of me at 28 weeks resting my hands on my squishy side abs. That's hot.

High protein, high fiber

Protein Flaxseed Muffins. They look delish, but they were subpar.

Uh oh

Look at the pretty fountain. I'm sure the neighbors are impressed.

Hey Crepe Guy

Here is a picture of the crepe that I didn't get at the Farmer's Market last weekend. I've got news for you Crepe Guy, I'm getting one on Saturday, so warm up that griddle, baby's hungry!

BFF vs. Nala

Leigh trying to keep Nala away from eating the rotten fish around an old campfire. Sit back and enjoy the show.

Quotes while I'm preggo

A few phrases that I do not like hearing when I'm preggo:

I loved being pregnant.
Are you taking your prenatals?
Have you tried ginger for your morning sickness?
You're getting sooooo big!
I love your "mom" haircut.
Oooh sorry, I had garlic for lunch.
Your head looks really small.

BIKE TO WORK DAY!

BIKE TO WORK DAY.  BFF was so nervous for me to make this "trek" to work.  I've certainly battled more adverse conditions than this, but she was scared for us.  Don't worry BFF, I didn't even know about the dead body they pulled out of the Platte River this same morning, I was too busy filling that backpack with free shit from all of the vendors.  

I'm basically a sponsored rider again.

Huge success

I had the best route ever.  In approx. 9 miles, I had 6 snack stops.  I had only planned on hitting 4 on my initial map, but I went out of my way for 2.  I was late to work, but it was soooo worth it.  I'm gonna bike to work every year on BIKE TO WORK DAY.  

Bike to work day continued...

Biking home from work:  

3 stops

I had to call Billy Rae to come and pick me up at REI cuz baby didn't want to pedal any more.

Thanks BR!

Delish...

Hydrogenated Heaven.  Sometimes transfats slip through my pristine diet.  I loved every f'n bite!  I was absolutely famished after our epic 1 hour hike.  

A Team

The "A-Team"  all had the weekend off, so we headed down to Buena Vista for some serious summer celebration.  Robin, Commander, Tiffany, Melanie, BFF and Preggo.  Oh yeah, Nala on the far left, Poodle #1 and Poodle #2.  

Does that baby make my ass look big?

The team

I'm real high-maintenance now that I'm preggo.  The foot massage was a team effort.  Here's Tiffany providing the massage lotion to the expert massage therapist.

Uncle Melanie

Uncle Melanie.  She likes playing this game with Hulk called, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?".  

I swear, these two could play this all day...

You got skills girl...

Robin showing off her mad fishing skills.

Long live summer

Long live summer!  BFF, the Commander and Mt. Elbert in the background...ahhhhhhhh

Back in the game!

Virtual Friends, brace yourselves for the long awaited helmet shots.  

I'm back in the game.  Billy Rae let me borrow her commuter bike until I'm done marinating this kid.

Little Chicken

Bring on summer.
Bring on the 3rd Trimester.
My little chicken is getting big.
She was popping popcorn in my belly this morning.

I ROVE THIS PICTURE

Where's the punch and cookies?

Sorry, no pictures to document the Senior Safety class I taught today.  It was a real crack up.

I cover topics such as:  cooking safety, trip hazards, fire escape plans, inclement weather plans and last but not least, DO NOT RESUSCITATE PAPERS.  

Usually by the time I get to the last topic, a few are nodding off and we just move on to punch and cookies.  THE END.

Not today.  

BLUE HAIR #1:  "How come my family wants me die?  Nobody wants to do CPR on me."

ME:  Listening to the crickets and the birds chirping............

BLUE HAIR #2:  "Well I don't want anyone doing CPR on me.  You're crazy if you do."

ME: "It's important that you have this discussion with your family, and that they know your wishes.

BH#1:  "Well I want to know what you think."

This was a very slippery slope...We spent about 20 minutes on this one topic.  I'm glad we talked about it, but seriously...where are the punch and cookies?

Father's Day

Pretty Lady, BFF and I went for an epic hike today.  I set a blistering pace on the front, and then I'd need to stop for a snack.  This is pretty much my only form of exercise now, so I'm passionate about it.  All and all, it was a great Father's Day.

Pool time

Pool time!  When did K-Man learn to swim?  

When I would get in the water BFF would communicate in whale talk to the Hulk.  They have this amazing under water connection.  

Hungry man

K-Man eating everything in sight.  He went to town on this bag of salt and vinegar chips and then went in for the fruit twist.  He shoulda put his goggles down cuz food was flying.

Please help this child

This is a thank you note from one of the kids I "taught" about fire safety this week.
I may have added the caption,
"DIE, DIE, DIE. I AM BURNING AND DIEING."
Then I taped it to the Life Safety Educator's door with a post-it that said, "Please help this child."

Office antics are in full effect on Fridays.

boyfriend

My boyfriend Tiny Tim and I had a quick game of hoops today. Nice shot boyfriend.