This is gonna Freak your Freak

My boobs got me out of Jury Duty today.
100 of us were called into the court room, some of us pleaded our case to be dismissed early due to "extreme hardships".

Poor unemployed lady: "Judge, this is creating a tremendous financial hardship for me and my family. I just lost my job, I have 5 kids in Daycare...blah blah blah"

Judge: "We'll consider your case with further reviewing."

Old Man with blue skin on Oxygen with a walker: "I do not have enough portable Oxygen to get me through 2 days of a trial. I simply cannot be without Oxygen."

Judge: "How much portable Oxygen do you have in your car?"

Old Man with blue skin: "Only 1 more tank."

Judge: "We'll consider your case."


I stand up in full firefighter uniform with breast pump in hand.
"Sir, I am a nursing Mom and need to pump every 2 1/2 - 3 hours. If chosen for this jury, it would be inconvenient for me and could possibly increase the length of this trial due to my frequent breaks."

Judge: "How old is your baby?"

Me: "6 months." (I wish I would have said 7 years old just to see the look on his face)

Judge: "Does anybody object to dismissing her now?"

Prosecuting Attorney stands up and winks at me: "I've been there. No objection."

Defense Attorney: "No objection."

Judge: "Dismissed."

I grab my breast pump and as I'm leaving the court room, I hear someone from the crowd shout, "YOU GO PUMP GIRL!"

I was the only Juror out of 100 to leave before noon. Thank you boobies.